“Do not think that I have come to bring peace on the earth; I have not come to bring peace, but a sword [of division between belief and unbelief].
Matthew 10:34

Trauma of Betrayal

On behalf of Truthful Thursdays, I’ve come to the segment of children. I’ve been inspired by God to speak on the foundation of families and one of the effects of broken families is that the children suffer more than anyone could ever fathom. You know, one day we wake up and life is different. We open our eyes and look around to see that we’ve accepted hate, mistreatment, pain and in retrospect we have no respect for ourselves. We ask, what happened to my life? When did this begin? How do I fix myself?

As we ask various of questions, we begin to get overwhelmed because we don’t have an answer. We’ve been so consumed with our programming. Wake up, prepare for work, work all day, pay bills and repeat. As a single woman with no responsibilities but myself; that’s how I lived. I betrayed myself.

How you may ask? First, I betrayed God by not keeping covenant with him. A covenant is a promise. Did you know every-time you state you are going to start, finish or do something and you don’t, it’s because you don’t respect yourself? Inevitably, because we have betrayed God, any other decision is based upon what’s already taken place in the spiritual. See, we are spirit first and when we disregard spiritual principles, our natural is a mere reflection of the decision made.

As a Christian woman, I grew up in church. I can remember as early as the age of 3. I loved church: singing in the choir, playing the tambourine, and praise dance. Notice how I said I loved “church”? That lies in the root issue a lot of us have. We love the things of God but not God. We enjoy doing the works, but we don’t have a relationship with Abba Father. Makes sense as to why God said in Matthew 7:21-23, quoting verse 23 only (And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.) Before I departed the ministry in 2012, I loved my Pastor more than I loved God. It’s very easy to slip into idolatry as a Christian. We look to man as god when our Pastors, Apostles, and all of those apart of the 5 fold ministry are vessels that God partners with to be of help in our walk. They are not to take the place of God. God didn’t say follow your Pastor and I’m here when you need me. God said, I AM the way, truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me. (John 14:6). My lack of love and true relationship with Christ poured out into my natural and I was powerless.

Have you been betrayed? Do you have unforgiveness breeding in your soul? Have you wondered how to lighten the load? How to let go of trauma that has created a fortress of pain that you call strength? Do you suffer from depression, oppression & suicide? Do you wonder often what’s your purpose? What am I to do?

If I could give you some insight. First and foremost most ask God for forgiveness. The reason you’re asking for forgiveness is because you betrayed him first. You left him. You ghosted him. God is a real person, he has a heart, he has feelings, he gets sad too! He weeps when we turn away from the faith. It hurts him to see us living for the devil and living out his cursed plan for our lives. I believe one of the main issues we have is not realizing that God isn’t just a ghost in the sky. God has a real home (the Kingdom of Heaven). He makes decisions and judgments. One decision he stands by is to never betray himself. If you want to leave the relationship, he will allow you too. Of course not without a fight but if you truly no longer care to love him, he will let you be. He loves and respects himself too much. God will never transgress his law.

Secondly, forgive yourself. You are not your behavior. Behavior can be changed. It takes consistency but mastery is birth through repetition. Changed behavior proof that you respect and love yourself enough to be the person you have always day dreamed being. The mind is a creative space, what you dream about is who you really are, it’s just under programming. It’s ready to burst out!

Thirdly, allow Jesus to be your Lord & savior. When you allow God to Lord over your life, you ultimately sign over the power of authority to your creator. God doesn’t want to harm you, he isn’t your abuser. He wants to mold you into the original plan he had for your life. He seeks to give you everything you desire. What parent wouldn’t want their child to have the best of what they wanted? So, why would God not want the same for you? What he does want is for you to have things and the things not have you. There’s a huge difference and God he says so. He asked, what does it profit a man to gain the whole wide world and lose his soul? (Mark 8:36).

Last but not least, forgive those who have transgressed against you so your father in heaven can forgive you. You may never receive an apology but forgiveness is truly not for them but for you. We have to come into the knowledge that the devil is behind evil human behavior. He is the real enemy. Not your mother, father, best friend or even the uncle that molested you. It’s the devil. God said, we wrestle not against flesh and blood but against the rulers of the darkness of this world. (Ephesians 6:12). We are in a battle of Good and Evil.

God never intended for the world to be how it is. Everything God created in Genesis 1 was good according to his liking. Sin and evil wasn’t present. We were whole, happy, we even had the full function of our brain. Nothing was withheld from us. God truly loves us but you’ll never experience true love until you have a relationship with Abba Father. He creates the best love story ever. God is truly a doctor, a psychiatrist, a friend, a father, a husbandmen, redeemer, protector and provider.

One of the greats in the Bible by the name of Joseph was betrayed by his brothers. His own family. The Bible speaks how Joseph had a positive attitude. He didn’t allow his trauma to intervene with the calling on his life. He wasn’t spiteful and he forgave his brothers because he knew God was with him. (Reference Genesis 39, 40, up until the end of Genesis for the full story). When God is with you, who can be against you?

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